Improving Paragraphs - PSAT Writing

1. For hundreds of years, July 4, 1776, has been revered as a defining moment in America's history. 2) Aptly named Independence Day, July 4 is remembered as the day that the Founding Fathers signed the Declaration of Independence. 3) This document officially announced Congress's resolution to separate from Great Britain. 4) Every year on July 4, my family likes to grill hot dogs and watch fireworks. 5) Though there is some dispute about whether or not the document was actually signed on this day, Americans will likely continue observing July 4, 1776, as their nation's birthday.

Which sentence should be deleted to make this a cohesive paragraph?

The following is an excerpt from a draft of the final paragraph of an essay arguing that the character Quasimodo in Victor Hugo's The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1831)is a tragic hero

(1)The Hunchback of Notre Dame follows the pattern of a tragedy quite closely. (2) It contains a tragic hero with a flaw that brought him to his own misery and death. (3) As with other tragedies, Quasimodo’s misfortunes are largely accredited to God, the universe, or whatever caused him to be born so ugly. (4) There is no story form so universally appreciated and timeless as the tragedy. (5) Because of Quasimodo’s rise and fall as a tragic hero, Victor Hugo’s novel can absolutely be considered a tragedy.

Which sentence, if any, is extraneous and can be deleted to improve the paragraph?

(1) Cowboys have long been a symbol in American society. (2) On the one hand, they represent American strength, adventurousness, and indefatigability. (3) But they also call up images of oppression, racism, and exploitation. (4) However, both of these romanticized views of cowboys betray the dull routine and everyday realities of the lives that many cowboys lived.

(5) Some cowboys worked at the same farms for much of their lives, while others periodically moved cattle from place to place without ever participating in a gun fight or being harangued by unexpected or hidden enemies. (6) Today, their figurative descendants can still be found living in agricultural areas, working hard to ensure that steady supplies of milk, meat and other agricultural products find their ways to stores and your dining room table.

Which of the following would be the best spot to insert the sentence "Many times, they dealt with disease, hunger and loneliness."?

(1) The sport of lacrosse, while perhaps not as widely popular today in the United States as baseball or football, is far older. (2) These games served many important cultural functions. (3) They were used to settle disputes between tribes, as festival events, and to train young men to become warriors and hunters.

(4) Hundreds of men and women from rival tribes or villages would gather to play at once. (5) The playing field was sometimes several miles long. (6) The original game was very different from the organized sport played today. (7) A single game would be played from dawn until sunset, and be followed by dancing and feasting.

(8) Modern, standardized versions of lacrosse started to be played in the 1850s and soon became very popular throughout Canada and the United States. (9) For over a century, it has been one of the most widely played sports in high schools in both nations.

What would be the best sentence to insert between Sentence 1 and Sentence 2?

(1) The sport of lacrosse, while perhaps not as widely popular today in the United States as baseball or football, is far older. (2) These games served many important cultural functions. (3) They were used to settle disputes between tribes, as festival events, and to train young men to become warriors and hunters.

(4) Hundreds of men and women from rival tribes or villages would gather to play at once. (5) The playing field was sometimes several miles long. (6) The original game was very different from the organized sport played today. (7) A single game would be played from dawn until sunset, and be followed by dancing and feasting.

(8) Modern, standardized versions of lacrosse started to be played in the 1850s and soon became very popular throughout Canada and the United States. (9) For over a century, it has been one of the most widely played sports in high schools in both nations.

The author wishes to add a concluding sentence after Sentence 9 that relates to a statement made in the opening sentence. Which of the following sentences would achieve this most effectively?

(1) Kabuki performances first appeared in 1603, when a woman named Izumo no Okuni began performing a new style of drama and dance routines outside of Kyoto. (2) This new form of entertainment quickly got popular throughout Japan.

(3) Kabuki was known for its extravagant costumes and elaborate make-up. (4) The stage was what really set it apart from other forms of theater at the time. (5) It included a walkway protruding from the stage out through the audience. (6) Actors would use this walkway to make surprise entrances. (7) More advanced features were added, such as rotating stages and trapdoors to lift actors onto or down from the stage almost instantly. (8) All of these were used to create dramatic emphasis.

Which is the best way to combine Sentences 3 and 4?

(1) Kabuki performances first appeared in 1603, when a woman named Izumo no Okuni began performing a new style of drama and dance routines outside of Kyoto. (2) This new form of entertainment quickly got popular throughout Japan.

(3) Kabuki was known for its extravagant costumes and elaborate make-up. (4) The stage was what really set it apart from other forms of theater at the time. (5) It included a walkway protruding from the stage out through the audience. (6) Actors would use this walkway to make surprise entrances. (7) More advanced features were added, such as rotating stages and trapdoors to lift actors onto or down from the stage almost instantly. (8) All of these were used to create dramatic emphasis.

Which of the following would be the best sentence to insert at the beginning of the passage?

(1) Kabuki performances first appeared in 1603, when a woman named Izumo no Okuni began performing a new style of drama and dance routines outside of Kyoto. (2) This new form of entertainment quickly got popular throughout Japan.

(3) Kabuki was known for its extravagant costumes and elaborate make-up. (4) The stage was what really set it apart from other forms of theater at the time. (5) It included a walkway protruding from the stage out through the audience. (6) Actors would use this walkway to make surprise entrances. (7) More advanced features were added, such as rotating stages and trapdoors to lift actors onto or down from the stage almost instantly. (8) All of these were used to create dramatic emphasis.

Which of these sentences, inserted after Sentence 8, would provide the best conclusion to the passage?

(1) Cowboys have long been a symbol in American society. (2) On the one hand, they represent American strength, adventurousness, and indefatigability. (3) But they also call up images of oppression, racism, and exploitation. (4) However, both of these romanticized views of cowboys betray the dull routine and everyday realities of the lives that many cowboys lived.

(5) Some cowboys worked at the same farms for much of their lives, while others periodically moved cattle from place to place without ever participating in a gun fight or being harangued by unexpected or hidden enemies. (6) Today, their figurative descendants can still be found living in agricultural areas, working hard to ensure that steady supplies of milk, meat and other agricultural products find their ways to stores and your dining room table.

Which of the following is the best option for combining Sentences 2 and 3?

(1) The sport of lacrosse, while perhaps not as widely popular today in the United States as baseball or football, is far older. (2) These games served many important cultural functions. (3) They were used to settle disputes between tribes, as festival events, and to train young men to become warriors and hunters.

(4) Hundreds of men and women from rival tribes or villages would gather to play at once. (5) The playing field was sometimes several miles long. (6) The original game was very different from the organized sport played today. (7) A single game would be played from dawn until sunset, and be followed by dancing and feasting.

(8) Modern, standardized versions of lacrosse started to be played in the 1850s and soon became very popular throughout Canada and the United States. (9) For over a century, it has been one of the most widely played sports in high schools in both nations.

Which is the best way to combine Sentences 4 and Sentence 5?

Which is the best way to combine Sentences 2 and 3?

\[1\] State-level legislative attempts to regulate immigration, both legal and illegal, over the previous twenty years reflect the diverse perspectives of multiple groups. \[2\] Activist groups contributed their own perspectives toward immigration legislation. \[3\] These activist groups included many diverse voices. \[4\] Ultimately, however, the majority of proposed legislation regarding immigration in Arkansas failed to become law and most proposed immigration legislation died in committee before reaching a floor vote.

(1) The sport of lacrosse, while perhaps not as widely popular today in the United States as baseball or football, is far older. (2) These games served many important cultural functions. (3) They were used to settle disputes between tribes, as festival events, and to train young men to become warriors and hunters.

(4) Hundreds of men and women from rival tribes or villages would gather to play at once. (5) The playing field was sometimes several miles long. (6) The original game was very different from the organized sport played today. (7) A single game would be played from dawn until sunset, and be followed by dancing and feasting.

(8) Modern, standardized versions of lacrosse started to be played in the 1850s and soon became very popular throughout Canada and the United States. (9) For over a century, it has been one of the most widely played sports in high schools in both nations.

In context, where is the best place to put Sentence 6?

Which is best way to split sentence (4) into two sentences?

\[1\] State-level legislative attempts to regulate immigration, both legal and illegal, over the previous twenty years reflect the diverse perspectives of multiple groups. \[2\] Activist groups contributed their own perspectives toward immigration legislation. \[3\] These activist groups included many diverse voices. \[4\] Ultimately, however, the majority of proposed legislation regarding immigration in Arkansas failed to become law and most proposed immigration legislation died in committee before reaching a floor vote.

(1) In spite of the numerous museums and schools dedicated to its appreciation, modern art still has yet to achieve the level of popular appreciation that many other art forms experience. (2) Many remain critical of the so-called "non-figurative" turn of European art that occurred in the latter part of the nineteenth and early part of the twentieth century that has had such a profound impact on art production since. (3) Contributing artists Van Gogh, Cézanne and Kandinsky each experimented with constitutive aspects of art works. (4) That is to say, they focused on issues such as how light interacts with objects, how depictions of visual space in a work tease normal perceptual capacities, or how color induces emotional responses. (5) Although they didn't always focus on the "realistic" depiction of figures in a pictorial scene, they nevertheless made significant and lasting contributions to how we think about the techniques and aspects that make up art objects and practice.

How can the significance of the underlined sentence to the overall paragraph best be described?

Select the underlined word or phrase that needs to be changed to make the sentence correct. Some sentences contain no error at all.

Most cacti are covered in sharp spikes, as my dog found out by attempting to sniffed one. No error

In Swift's other works is found an equable tenor of easy language, which rather trickles than flows. His delight was in simplicity. That he has in his works no metaphor, as has been said, is not true; but his few metaphors seem to be received rather by necessity than choice. He studied purity; and though perhaps all his strictures are not exact, yet it is not often that solecisms can be found; and whoever depends on his authority may generally conclude himself safe. His sentences are never too much dilated or contracted; and it will not be easy to find any embarrassment in the complication of his clauses, any inconsequence in his connections, or abruptness in his transitions.

How can the significance of the underlined sentence to the overall passage best be described?

In Swift's works, he has given very different specimens both of sentiment and expression. His "Tale of a Tub" has little resemblance to his other pieces. It exhibits a vehemence and rapidity of mind, a copiousness of images, and vivacity of diction, such as he afterwards never possessed, or never exerted. It is of a mode so distinct and peculiar, that it must be considered by itself; what is true of that, is not true of any thing else which he has written.

How can the significance of the underlined sentence to the overall passage best be described?

Those who would gladly pass their days together may be separated by the different course of their affairs; and friendship, like love, is destroyed by long absence, though it may be increased by short intermissions. What we have missed long enough to want it, we value more when it is regained; but that which has been lost till it is forgotten, will be found at last with little gladness, and with still less if a substitute has supplied the place. A man deprived of the companion to whom he used to open his bosom, and with whom he shared the hours of leisure and merriment, feels the day at first hanging heavy on him; his difficulties oppress, and his doubts distract him; he sees time come and go without his wonted gratification, and all is sadness within, and solitude about him. But this uneasiness never lasts long; necessity produces expedients, new amusements are discovered, and new conversation is admitted.

How can the significance of the underlined sentence to the overall passage best be described?

Adapted from “Our Amateur Poets, No. III. — William Ellery Channing” in The Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe — Vol. XI: Literary Criticism by Edgar Allan Poe (1843, ed. 1902)

In speaking of Mr. William Ellery Channing, who has just published a very neat little volume of poems, we feel the necessity of employing the indefinite rather than the definite article. He is a, and by no means the, William Ellery Channing. He is only the son of the great essayist deceased. He is just such a person, in despite of his clarum et venerabile nomen, as Pindar would have designated by the significant term τις.

How can the significance of the underlined sentence to the overall passage best be described?

Adapted from “Our Amateur Poets, No. III. — William Ellery Channing” in The Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe — Vol. XI: Literary Criticism by Edgar Allan Poe (1843, ed. 1902)

It may be said in \[Channing's\] favor that nobody ever heard of him. He has always succeeded in keeping himself from being made the subject of gossip. His book contains about sixty-three things, which he calls poems, and which he no doubt seriously supposes so to be. They are full of all kinds of mistakes, of which the most important is that of their having been printed at all.

How can the significance of the underlined sentence to the overall passage best be described?