The Beauty in Chaos by Camille

The Beauty in Chaos by Camille - November 2024 Scholarship Essay

I have changed a lot within these past three years. I have transferred schools, switched my major, and had my life flipped upside down in almost every aspect. As I reflect on it, these changes sound frightening, but strangely enough, I like an odd sensation of comfort in the disorganization. If you know me, one thing's never been said about me: I'm never boring. When things get too monotone, I shake it up. I even rearrange my bedroom furniture every couple of months, just to see things from a different perspective. While many may look at my academic path and see chaos, for me, it all does have sense.

"How are you supposed to know what you want to do if you haven't tried it all?" This was said to me by my best friend in the middle of a school-related breakdown, and it has stuck with me ever since. I think that is the fatal flaw within the American school system- do you study an area with a guaranteed career, or pursue your passions? When I applied to colleges, I went with the practical route and wanted to go into speech pathology. Quickly, I learned that was not something I wanted to study, so I changed my major to criminal justice. My first year, far from home, was full of realizations: I was in the wrong place, studying the wrong thing.

Returning home for my Sophomore year, I enrolled at Austin Community College. There, I completed Chemistry I-the hardest class I have ever taken. I attended every tutoring session offered by my TA, studied my notes from class at the end of every week, and spent a minimum of four days redoing all of my previously assigned work before my exams. All of my efforts were justified when I finished the semester with one of the highest A's in the class. This success made me contemplate going into the Chemistry realm as a career. However, I was very quickly met with defeat when it came time for Chemistry II the next semester with a different professor. I went from riding the best academic high of my life to feeling like I had failed. My learning did not mesh well with this professor's preferred teaching method: a flipped classroom. The professor’s teaching style left me struggling, and I ended up dropping the course. What felt like a failure at the time taught me resilience: setbacks don’t mean the end.

This setback caused me to ask myself what I wanted from my education and caused me to take a class that I had been pushing off because it didn't fit into my degree plan, Fashion Styling. Fashion is more than just an area of interest for me, it is an essential part of my self-identity. I always said in my perfect world, I would be studying fashion in college, but I let the practical concerns deter me. However, after a phone call with my grandpa, he reminded me that you create your own career path; your passion and determination make the difference. I then applied to two schools for fashion merchandising: the University of Texas and Texas State University.

Life loves to throw a curveball whenever we think that finally, we find our path. After I got my rejection from the University of Texas, it destroyed me. I didn't know what to do, but a couple of weeks later, an email came regarding my acceptance to Texas State for fashion merchandising. This was about the time my grandfather passed away. In that moment, I felt it was him guiding me and in my heart knew this was it.

Since then, I have flourished and thrived at Texas State. This university has pushed me to fully commit to my lifelong dream of creating a swimwear brand and changing the name of traditional swimwear. My successes here at Texas State were rooted in setbacks along the way. Texas State gave me a platform to fuse my passion for fashion with my inner entrepreneur, providing a perfect foundation to introduce my brand.

After my graduation, keep an eye out for Swann Swim—one day, our sustainable swimwear might just be featured on the cover of Vogue.