The Power of Maternal Leadership by Dajha

The Power of Maternal Leadership by Dajha - May 2024 Scholarship Essay

Leadership is a skill that anyone can have, but only a few people can actually become influential with this skill. I’m not talking about people such as celebrities who start movements. While these people do exhibit traits of someone who flourishes while in leadership positions, there’s always someone who taught them to be that way. There's always a predecessor such as a parent, or a best friend even. Some even become this way when they have to care for children and pets for the first time. My teacher was my mother. 

While everyone’s teacher was their parents in some way, I’d argue that my mother is very different. She is the most calmly-mannered woman I’ve ever known. People have wronged her in ways that I didn’t even think humans were evil enough to think of. Yet, she continues to stay this sweet, understanding woman. When I was 3 years old, my mother had been married to my father. He had all control of our bank accounts and bills; my mother was only expected to take care of me and the home we had at the time. She also took care of my father’s child from a previous marriage. One night, my father brought a woman to our house. She wasn’t just a woman either, she was pregnant. Obviously, my mother was very confused as her husband brought a random woman to their home. That same night, all in under an hour, he told my mother that the woman with him was a woman he had gotten pregnant. This woman was showing tremendously. He told my mom that he no longer wanted to be with her and he packed all his bags and left me, my sister, and my mom. My mom had moved across the country to marry him and he left her with thirty dollars, two children, and no car to get 750 miles back home. She developed severe depression and anxiety due to this traumatic experience and joined the military to care for me properly. My father then embarrassed her all over platforms such as Facebook, posting the woman and their newborn as well as an announcement of marriage. He removed all photos of my mother and I. 

She has since forgiven him. She can easily speak to him without being angry and upset. She can speak to his wife without any issues. She took the minimum $150 child support payment even though he made well over six figures. 

I always think about how angry of a person she could be. I always think about how people talk about her behind her back even when they don’t know a thing about her. But, she’ll smile and laugh with them knowing this. She’ll give them help whenever they need it and won’t hesitate to drop whatever she’s doing. I often think about how she must feel at night when she’s lying down, even next to her new husband. I wonder how she feels about the times her new husband yells at her over nothing and threatens to leave. How scared she must be in those moments. Yet, she’s such a sweet woman. He needs something? It’s already his. Does he need a bite to eat? She already made food for the next week. Does he need some money? She’ll give him that, times two. When will she get her reward for being so kind? 

But, within all of that hurt she endured, I can’t be frugal when I speak about everything she’s done for me. On top of being a single mother nearly all my life, she worked multiple jobs after retiring from the military. She put me into private school because she knew how horrible the public schools in our area were. She encouraged me to go to an art academy during my high school years because she saw the potential in me. She encouraged me to go to one of the most accredited art universities in the USA. When she didn’t have the money, but I needed or wanted something, she would get it. I had everything I could ever wish for or want because she gave it to me. She switched beds with me because she wanted me to have the bigger one; I was 8 and she gave me a king-size bed. She has always been there for me, even when I was in my terroristic toddler and rude teenager phases. 

Of course, my mother has her moments, but she never acts if it's not out of kindness. I yearn to be as kind as my mother, as calm. I wish I wouldn’t get so angry and be more mature like her. I always wonder how she became that way and why she does it if there are little rewards to come with it. Then, I realized, that’s just who she is. She doesn’t need a reward to be herself. Gosh, I do wish I'm like her when I grow up.