Defined, But Not Defined By by Nakoryia

Defined, But Not Defined By by Nakoryia - August 2025 Scholarship Essay

The highly anticipated return home from my first year of college had an incomparable freshness. Poles apart from the stifling grief I felt the fall before.

“You seem happier,” they’d say.

“I am,” I’d reply with a grin.

Hearing this again and again led me to wonder, “What about college enhanced or enabled me to achieve the joy that I no longer performed but possessed with pride?” I previously withheld expressing such jubilation for "later" and "the right time". In high school, within those camel-cream brick walls and narrow, sheath-like halls, I was in conflict with myself, “This is who I am, right? But I can feel I am more!” I’d shrank back in the face of what I disliked in my environment, reasoning, “That’s just how things were.” One of those beliefs proved true; my environment had definition, but it did not define me. After seeking possibilities of hope-filled realities through exposure, mentorship, and personal growth, I realized high school had shaped how I expressed myself, but not who I was. Arriving at this realization then continues to motivate me in achieving my current goal for the upcoming school year, to be who I am becoming, and to create the circumstances I want.

Experiencing my newfound willpower is taking the form of being audacious and thinking beyond the lingering shadows of prior lived experiences as a basis for decision-making, and instead building sustaining self-trust and diverting to possibility. I aspire to be less realistic and be led by faith to continue experiencing joy this upcoming semester. The opportunity cost of my curiosity is considerably lower than it will ever be again. Recognizing this has empowered me, as if my future self has extended me an olive branch, granting me the contentment to immerse fully in the present, take bigger strides, and embrace risks – while my knees and back are free of aches.

Moving states fuels this dynamic shift – D.C. and I mesh well. Perhaps it’s the endless sidewalks, the Mambo sauce, and corridors of opportunity that ignite my spirit with the possibility that everything I see, I can be.

I aspire to say yes more often to what’s unfamiliar. While success may not be linear, it doesn’t come from mistaking retreat for paralysis in the pits of pity or self-doubt. I will work diligently to overcome mental barriers by focusing on intentionality. Being indifferent is not my story. I am pretty ecstatic to try, even if I “fail”, it will be fast and hard, and I can recover.

I may not be an expert in one single thing, but I’m skilled in learning. This upcoming school year, I will delve deeper into self-exploration and seek opportunities to refine my interests in arts, writing, people, and more. If those opportunities are scarce or nonexistent, I vow to create my lane and lift my peers as I climb. In closing, this school year, I will focus on what I can control, and that is me. The friends I make and the community I build will grow from my unwavering devotion to keep shooting until I land a shot – or, perhaps, to embrace a second spring, where every leaf is a flower (A. Camus).